There is a tremendous blessing in having the experience of living in multiple societies. It enriches a person and gives them the ability to adopt the best and leave behind the not so good from both the culture. Living in the West, we are blessed with so many things and are also exposed to many things that have long lasting impact on our future generation. Every year around this time, I am faced with the question about why I don’t let R dress up and go trick or treating. I thought I’d write about it and share with my cherished readers too.
There are many many good things that we learn and adapt from this country but there are many that are unacceptable in the Islamic culture. Halloween is one such tradition. I chose to celebrate the beautiful colors and tastes of fall instead of the dark and twisted. Many may argue that this is a non-harming, non-threatening, very fun and simple tradition. Agree, on the face value, it may appear that children are just having fun, dressing up and collecting some candies. However, as Muslims, we are supposed to ponder and think about every single thing that we do. There is no blind following in Islam. We are not supposed to follow something blindly without thinking or pondering about it.
The tradition of Halloween evolved from the ancient Celtic holiday of Samhain. The Celts believed that Oct 31 was the last day of the year, or the harvest season, and the beginning of winter. They also believed that this transition between the seasons was a bridge to the world of the dead. It was believed that this was an evil night when spirits roamed the streets and villages.
On Halloween, to avoid being recognized by the ghosts, the Celts would disguise themselves by wearing masks of animals, ghosts, etc. when they left their homes after dark. They did such so that the ghosts would mistake them for fellow spirits. To keep ghosts away from their houses, people also placed bowls of food outside their homes to appease the ghosts and prevent them from attempting to enter. This is where the tradition of dressing in costumes comes from.
The practice of “trick-or-treating” comes from the tradition of priests or poor citizens begging for food, and families giving them treats called “soul cakes” in return for their promise to pray for the family’s dead relatives. The distribution of soul cakes was also encouraged by the church as a way to replace the ancient practice of leaving food and wine for roaming spirits. The practice, which was referred to as “going a-souling” was eventually taken up by children who would visit the houses in their neighborhood and be given food, and money.
As a Muslim parent my understanding is that Halloween is not acceptable in our religion. I know some Christian families who refrain from celebrating Halloween which leads me to believe that there maybe a grey line about Halloween in Christianity too. This is not just a fun night. I am not comfortable to blind follow and take part in Halloween that has a history and traditional link with fortune telling, superstition, worshiping devil or ghosts, so we decided to refrain from the Halloween festivities.
As a Muslim parent, with the insights of Halloween history and tradition, I find it the demeaning to disguise my child in costume. Yes, there are pretty costumes that I can buy, but that doesn’t change the history and tradition behind this celebration.
As a Muslim parent, it is my responsibility that we keep our children focused on the good and as far away as possible from the bad. Sometimes, as parents we can get confused between the good and the bad. Only through knowledge, we are able to distinguish what is right from wrong. I am a proud American but as a Muslim parent, I can’t forget that we must strive to abide by our religious and cultural boundaries at the same time.
In my family, we chose to celebrate light over dark. We chose to celebrate the beautiful colors and tastes of Autumn with our Fall checklist full of fun activities. What about you? What’s your stance on Halloween?
P.S. Find out how to still be gracious to trick or treaters when opting out of Halloween.
If you would like to follow along for more of our Muslim lifestyle, Islamic home decor, recipes and other posts, we’d love to invite you to follow us on any of the following:
Pinterest | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Salam Lalila! I completely agree with you on this topic… I do not have my own children at this time. However I do wonder how one would explain this concept to children when trick or treating is so commercialized, and seems to be a harmless tradition and all about the candy and treats that are passed out.
More importantly, do you have any activities to engage your children while their fellow peers collect candy in the dark?
Hena
Walaikum as salam Hena. Very valid question. We started telling our daughter about what we celebrate and what we don’t when she turned 3. It’s the family ground rules that we always try to explain to her. We also emphasized that we have two Eid festivals to celebrate and we do a lot of fun things for Eid. She is not too obsessed about candies. I suppose our one candy/week rule helped.
As for activities, we don’t do any special activity. Usual family night, or taking her to the mall for a merry-go-around suffice. I don’t want to get in the tradition of special activities just because it’s Halloween and try to keep it low key. Hope this helps. Hope this helps.
Thank you for stopping by.
Bravo for your research and expressing your opinion about this holiday. When I was growing up in the ’80s in NJ, I had my Bangladeshi parents convinced that we had to celebrate Halloween because it had no religious significance. I have to say that I was wrong and your post shows us why. I will share this with my kids although they may be a little too young to understand. We are still decorating with their drawings of pumpkins and projects containing beautiful fall leaves. Thank you and may God reward you for your honesty and courage.
Good to hear from you Lani. Thank you. I love the fall colors and the flavors. In fact, we are going to be making a pumpkin dessert today. I don’t see there is any problem playing with fall leaves and drawing pumpkin from the perspective of Islam as long as we refrain from jack o lantern and other Halloween specific activities. I don’t know how old your kids are, but I started to talk to my daughter about how we celebrate Eid and not Halloween, Christmas or Easter right around when she turned 3.
As for us kids growing up in the ’80s, we’ve probably done a few more other things that we wouldn’t want our kids to do 😉 Our parents most likely didn’t have the resources easily available to them, but we do. So we need to seek the knowledge and do our best. Best wishes.
Great post and love your pictures. Such gorgeous colours.
Thank you, Tunazzina. I love fall colors too 🙂
Aaaah, you are tackling a very controversial and argumentative issue here Lail. Each and every year since 9 years ago I try to talk to my friends here about this, and how I feel this is haram and not good for the children, then I got fed up and decided to shut up 🙁 because I was faced with many accusations of being cruel to my kids and I will make them hate being muslims and I am an extremist !!! I am happy that finally I have found someone who thinks the same too, I think great minds think alike :). Great post I will share it every where.. may be someone will be convinced. Jazakom Allah Khairan.
Salaam Amira! Yessss…it is a very controversial issue. I had chosen my side about Halloween even before my daughter was born, so I started to go a little overboard during Eid since she turned 3. I openly discuss with her how we follow and don’t follow certain things and it’s perfectly fine for her friends to do those. So far, it’s been fine. Will have to wait and see how she reacts as she grows older.
I think as mothers, we have to have our ground rules for our families. It’s different for each family, but as a mother we try our best to pass on the best to our kids. It’s very foolish to judge one mother’s decision as cruel. No mother is cruel on their child. It may seem that way only from a distance. I have learned to distance myself from those who judge me without knowing the whole picture.
I have very close Muslim friends who celebrate Halloween but we respect each others decision. I have no business labeling them as haram doers as they have no business calling me cruel. Only Allah knows the best.
I would love to hear your thought about Thanksgiving on the post I just published.
Masha’Allah. I totally agree with you, Lail, and how you deal with the situation. We do the same. Excellent article, Sis! ❤
JazakAllah Khair Nancy. Glad to see I’m not going to be battling these issues alone as the kiddos grow up. Alhamdulillah, she hasn’t revolted to anything yet and I hope that to continue. Thank you so much for all your support.
Agree with this very informative ,thought provoking article..Educating ourselfs re.All Hallows eve as Muslims I don’t find this subject controversial.The only choice we have here is to obey Allah swa or not.Accontability is to the creator above all else.
Exactly, our accountability is only to Allah, and Allah alone. May Allah always guide us to the right path. Thanks for your comment sister.
I am so glad that there are others who think exactly as I do..i do get flak from others that i am too harsh and that there is nothing wrong with just dressing up and going for candy, but i don’t think that i am being harsh when i am giving my 6 year old daughter a good explanation. I am open with her although i did let her wear a dress and a tiara to school today (not a costume) but just so she can have fun with her friends and she knows this..if asked she says that she is a muslim and does not celebrate halloween but she just wanted to have fun at school with her friends..i am still second guessing myself on that decision but there will definitely be no trick or treating. I have given her other explanations as well that eating this much candy is not good for the body but if she wants some then her dad and i can buy some for her like we buy everything for her..she does not need to go knocking on doors to get it from others..
Salam Aisha. Thanks for sharing your story. May Allah guide us all to the right path.
I’m so glad that my daughter’s school doesn’t allow dressing up on Halloween. She is 5 and made me proud when she told her teacher that she doesn’t celebrate Halloween. I did buy her some of her favorite candies last week so I don’t feel she was deprived.
I know as mothers, we may feel a bit sad and think the kid is missing out in the fun. But since they never did it, I don’t think they care much. My daughter also knows some of her friends out side of school (our family friends) are not celebrating, so she is fine. I also remind her on how we celebrate Ramadan and 2 the two Eids. These are some talking points you can also use with your daughter.
Assalamualaikum Lail,
Masyaallah…What a great article. I definitely agree with you.
I’m Aisah, Indonesian and in most part of Indonesia it is not common about Halloween celebration. But in Jakarta and other big cities are. Some of Mall or restaurant decorate with Halloween accessories or have some program to celebrate it. And sadly most of muslim here do not know the history and do not care about whatt you said that we must strive to abide by our religious and cultural boundaries at the same time.
I love your statement …. Only through knowledge, we are able to distinguish what is right from wrong. I am a proud American but as a Muslim parent, I can’t forget that we must strive to abide by our religious and cultural boundaries at the same time.
Thank you for sharing ….
I guess I am the only one on the fence about this. Being a born-and-raised in America Muslim, I am always thinking about the struggles I had and trying to predict how things will be for my daughter.
My siblings and I had a very strict upbringing, and it caused each of us to lash out in our own way and partake in un-Islamic activities in an attempt to fit in when we were teens/young adults. Several of my friends who were Muslim Americans did also. Thankfully Allah reached my heart and I abandoned the haram activities, but the same is not true for everyone who shared in similar “strict” situations.
Because of this, I try to do what I can to help my daughter foster good feelings about who she is as a Muslim to help her be confident. It is NOT easy feeling like the outcast. My husband and I decided that when our daughter is old enough to bring it up, we would talk to her about the origins of Halloween, why we don’t celebrate it as Muslims, but then ask her how she feels about it-what is her reason for wanting to celebrate? If it’s to copy everyone else, is that always the best way to think? Basically we don’t want it to be a big deal, if she wants to dress up we will let her wear something cute and take her to friends houses who don’t have such an evil set up. Take some pictures so she has the memory and good feelings.
As long as we always talk to her about it, our hope is she will come to the decision on her own to not celebrate.
We could be royally messing up, but as all parents we are just trying to do our best.
Dear Ameerah – Thank you for sharing your thoughts. As a parent you decide how you’d want to set your family rules and boundaries. And it’s okay to agree to disagree with our family rules.
I’m a firm believer of this hadith – “The child is the master for seven years(the age of being a child and playing); and a slave for seven years(parents should be strict in disciplining their children) and a vizier for seven years(guide and help in making correct decisions for themselves); so if he grows into a good character within 21 years, well and good; otherwise leave him alone because you have discharged your responsibility before Allah.”
I really also think we aren’t very strict parents. We do have family rules and boundaries that we openly discuss as a family. My daughter was introduced to Halloween at 3 years old at her Montessori school. I had explained how we celebrate the two Eids but not Halloween, Christmas, Easter, etc. In addition, we also celebrate 4th of July and other other civic holidays. It was a very lighthearted discussion and she never ever wanted to celebrate any of these holidays. Since then, every year during October, I check in with her about how she is doing and if she is feeling left out about Halloween. We have fun fall activities that we do as a family and alhamdulillah she hasn’t complained. She usually asks us if we could get her some candy, and we usually comply. This year, she asked for some fall decor, and we’ve put out some Autumn inspired art-pieces in our home. We have a very open communication style as a family and she is encouraged to ask or object to any rules and boundaries that needs further reasoning. All this is to say that it is not necessary to be very strict parents to not partake in Halloween.
Again, to each his own. Best wishes and duas for your family.
That makes a lot of sense! Communication is key I think and there seems to be a lot of that in your household.
Thank you so much for your post. I wholeheartedly agree. I’m sharing your post with my family and friends. Thanks again.