If a son of Adam (as) possessed two vast valleys wherein gold and silver flowed, he would still wish to search for the third one.

Sahih al-Bukhari

As a person achieve more and more in life, their expectation and desire rise with it. That’s just the nature of human beings. We live in a culture that screams to us that we deserve anything and everything we want. We can’t live in such world and not be influenced by it, nor can our children. In the midst of all this, how can we raise content kids?

Let’s be mindful, contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have. So let’s not confuse ambition with contentment. Someone can be ambitious and content at the same time. So, how do we teach our children to be content?

Recently, I read a research which concluded how happy you are, affects how happy and successful your kids are — dramatically. Think about it for a moment. If we are not content about how our life is, it is bound to effect our kids. Contentment is one of the most important prerequisites for happiness in life.

Let’s take this scenario. If parents are not content, we verbalize our discontentment at some point and the children are bound to hear it. And if mommy and daddy thinks the car is old and ugly, the children will eventually think so too. If mommy thinks the couch is outdated, it must be! Children are not born with discontentment. They inherit it from the environment they live in.

So, the bottom line is; we as parents must practice contentment if we want to teach it to our children. When our children are older, we can point them to Quran and help them live what the Quran teaches about contentment. When they are younger, we need Practical Suggestions in developing contentment in kids.

Here’s a few to practice –

1. Make du’a for achieving contentment. The Prophet (PBUH) said:

There is no Muslim servant who says in the morning and the evening three times: I am pleased with Allah as my Lord, with Islam as my religion and with Muhammad as my Prophet, except that it will be a right upon Allah to please him on the Day of Judgment. (Ahmad)

Practice this in real life with your children so the message may enter your heart.  Also, recite the dua of contentment of the Prophet (PBUH) as a family –

O Allah, make me content with Your decree, so that I may not hasten what You have delayed, or to delay what You have hastened.

2. Count your blessings and be thankful to Allah (SWT) for what you already have. Be a model to your children for this. Learn to be content yourself by being grateful. Let children hear you thank Allah swt for providing you with a home; a vehicle; a refrigerator full of food. Teach your kids to say “thank you”. Say out loud in front of your kids that you are thankful for your family and friends. Practice saying alhamdulillah for your health, wealth and so on. Let your kids see and feel how grateful you are with whatever you have so they learn to be content with what they have.

3. Look at others who have less than you, not those who have more. When you look at someone trying to make ends meet, you empathize and become more grateful with what you have. On the other hand, when we look at someone with better cars and bigger houses, we maybe less content with what we have. Show empathy for the poor and teach your kids about how the less fortunate have rights on our excess money. Spend a day with your kids at a homeless shelter, soup kitchen or other type of volunteer work. Your kids will see the faces of people who have little. And hopefully they’ll be less likely to complain and be less entitled. I also think it is important to show and discuss photos of children from different parts of the world and talk about their sufferings with kids living in the West.

4. Attribute your success to Allah and celebrate small wins.  We all have ambitions we want to achieve. For example, you may be working towards a promotion, your kid maybe working towards getting into a specific school/college. All of these require ongoing execution. While you are on your ongoing execution journey, celebrate the wins – even the small wins, to avoid being obsessed with the end result. Let your children hear you showing gratitude to Allah for providing you and/or your spouse with work, so they understand with hard work, success comes from Allah. Overcame a difficult meeting and a difficult week successfully? Take the family out for dinner and order dessert, if you usually don’t. Your child tackled a concept she has been struggling with for days, bring her some flowers, or chocolate or whatever she likes to compliment her hard work.

5. Connect with your kids at their level. When your children are playing with their toys, tell them how much you enjoy giving them gifts, just as Allah showers His blessings and mercy on your family. I used to randomly ask my daughter often about what she is thankful for. Her usual childish answers would be alhamdulillah for toy, ice-cream, family, etc. Then one night when she was 7 years old, I rephrased the question to, “If you wake up tomorrow with only the things you said Alhamdulillah for today, what would you be thankful for?” I could feel there was an immediate spark in her thought. And boy oh boy! Did her answers changed to more deep, meaningful gratitude from her heart? Absolutely. Try it sometimes with your kids.

6. Get one. Give one. When purchasing something, consider what you need vs what you want, not how glamorous an object is. And when purchasing something, encourage contentment while reducing clutter. Tell your child that for every toy they receive, they’ll give one away. Find out if you can visit a local orphanage to donate toys or toiletries. Children will learn to not hold onto their stuff too tightly. But, more importantly, they’ll learn to share and be content with it.

7. Teach your children to love Allah and instill a love for Jannah at a young age. Also, practice and show that your love for Allah does not decrease when you are tested.

What other tips do you have to raise content kids?