In 2014, I studied abroad in what would prove to be a life-changing experience. I went outside of my comfort zone and met so many new people from all over the world. That semester abroad turned out to be the beginning of my journey to Islam.

I would go on to officially take my shahada in November of that same year, and in the months between I would read everything and anything I could get my hands on about this beautiful religion. The more I read, the more sure I was that Islam was the truth, but throughout my journey the hijab was something that stayed in the front of my mind.

I knew it was a requirement of Islam, of that I had no doubt. But I was left feeling conflicted and scared about whether or not I would be able to ever take on that commitment, and whether I actually wanted to. I was scared of losing family and friends, yet I was jealous of those women who wore their religion proudly in their modesty. I spent much of my journey to Islam reading about hijab, reading hijabi blogs, and watching hijab tutorials on YouTube, trying to sort through my mixed emotions.

Before I officially converted, I started learning to pray and going to Friday prayers on campus at my university. I knew I had to wear hijab to pray, and something in my heart moved me to keep the scarf on my head for the rest of that day. Every Friday, as the time for Jummah would come around, I would put on the hijab and make my intention to wear it for the rest of that day. The first time I did it I was terrified; after a month or two it had just become another part of my routine.

As I learned and practiced more of Islam, I also began interacting more with the local Muslims, and I made some friends in the Muslim Student Association (MSA). I started going to Islamic events and classes at the local mosques and social events with the MSA. I already wore hijab every Friday, so I decided to start wearing the hijab to those events and classes, and then whenever I hung out with MSA friends.

I used what I had in the beginning, and bought more modest clothes over time as my budget allowed. I agonized over all these little baby steps but, in the end, when Allah’s timing was right, putting on the hijab full-time was the simplest decision in the world.

I went to an Islamic event one night about a month after my shahada and the next morning, I just picked the scarf up off my floor where I had discarded it and put it right back on. And alhamudlillah, I have never looked back since.

Yes, it has taken me years since 2014 to try to figure out who I am in a hijab, my style, and my levels of modesty. My hijab hasn’t always been (and still isn’t) perfect. I’ve had full-jilbab moments and I’ve had jeans and a long sleeve top moments. But in shaa Allah each day that I wake up and put that scarf back on my head I am proudly affirming my Muslimah identity to the world and taking one more step in my journey to Allah’s pleasure.

 

True Hijab Story By: Ashley Bounoura, Co-owner The Dua Journal

Read other inspiring stories of women’s decision to wear the Islamic head covering called, Hijab.